Max at 19 Months

Well, I had originally started this at 18 months . . . I'm a little behind.  ;)  He is a solid boy!  Stats at his 18 month wellness visit:

Height:   33 1/2 inches  (82nd percentile)
Weight:  28lbs, 5oz  (90th percentile)

2T tops and 18 or 24 month bottoms. 

He loves to use eating utensils.  He was eating garlic bread the other night with a fork!  And he has to do everything himself.

A few days before Christmas, he got the flu - as in the respiratory flu.  Other than a lingering cough, he is fine now; but every time he gets sick, his taste buds seem to change.  This time, how he eats changed, too.  Instead of eating the entire grilled cheese, he leaves bits and pieces behind.  It's like this with almost everything.  Strange.  His food favorites right now seem to be (block) cheese and pretzels, muffins of any kind, sausage and various fruit.  He eats other things more as picking here and there.  Maybe eggs.  Maybe a carrot. The other night, he downed an enchilada like nobody's business, though.  Then, last night, he wouldn't touch the lasagna. 

He understands, "If you do X, you get Y" now.  Like, "One more bite and you can get down."  Or "If you want a snack, you have to pick up your toys."  It's a wonderful thing.

He loves anything to do with Dora or Diego.  Movies, TV shows, books, you name it.  He says, "Da Da Da" for Dora.

Speaking of speaking (haha), he FINALLY says, "Mommy!"  It's amazing, b/c it's clear as day, too.  Nothing better than hearing your child sqeal with delight "Mommy" when they see you.  He says, "Please, cheese, keys, potty, Brady, baby, grandpa and Grandma (in his own way), Jesus, change it (when handing us the remote - see below about who's in charge!)," as well as some others I'm sure I've forgotten.  He mimics lots of things we say.

The kid loves to dance. Anytime music comes on, especially his singing Elmo, he starts jumping around. When we were at my parents' recently, he pulled my dad off the couch to dance with him to a bear that sings "What Makes You Beaut!ful."  Watching my dad and Max jump around was quite funny!

I don't know if I've written about this in the past, but last April, I went part-time and work Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Brook still stays home with him on Tuesdays and, since September, he has gone to a friend of mine's on Thursdays.  It has worked out great!  She has a little girl who is the same age as Max and they get to learn how to share with each other.  :-) 

He continues to be strong-willed and we continue to teach him who's in charge.  ;-)  Somedays, it's a battle, but he's learning.  After going through everything we have over the last few months, I look at Max as my little miracle.  Being a parent stretches me more than anything else in life, but it's wonderful. 

Rejoice Always

I haven't been posting much, b/c shortly after my last post in October, I found out I was pregnant.  I actually found out October 25th, which is the same day I found out I was pregnant with Max!   We were so excited - another baby to love and a brother or sister for Max.  Around 6 weeks, I began getting nauseous, just like with Max.  Luckily, it wasn't quite as bad this time.  I was still able to somewhat function, which is highly necessary when having a rambunctious toddler!  :-)  At our 10.5 week pre-natal appt on December 14th, I expected to hear our new baby's heartbeat and post exciting news.  It just wasn't meant to be.  After not hearing the heartbeat with the Doppler, which is common at 10.5 weeks, I wanted an ultrasound.  I knew something was up.  We had easily heard Max's at 10.5 weeks.  Yes, this was a different pregnancy, but I didn't care.  As soon as the US started, I knew.  There was no heartbeat.  The tech told us our baby had died at 9.5 weeks.  She was so kind and even printed a picture for us to keep.  It's little things like that that mean so much.  I thought I was prepared for the news, but realized one can never prepare for such news.  It was heartbreaking. 

When I was pregnant with Max, I didn't want to get too attached "just in case."   I have a lot of regret because of that.  Before I got pregnant again, I told God if He let me get pregnant again, I would love the new baby with "reckless abandon."  (I remember specifically using those words.)  And I did.  I have absolutely no regrets.  It is very important for us to recognize this baby as a real person and not just a blob of cells.  He or she is just as much our child as Max is.  So,we named the baby Francis, after one of our favorite saints - St. Francis of Assisi, and take solace that we have a child in Heaven.  After all, isn't that our goal as Christian parents?  There is something so special about knowing we have a child waiting for us after we finish our earthly journey.  It makes Heaven so much more real.

Everyone handles miscarriage differently.  I haven't been shy in talking about it.  (Obviously, since I'm writing about it here.)  Sharing is helping me heal.  The love and support we have received from so many of our friends and family members has been overwhelming.  And it's almost as though I can feel their prayers.  The grace has been so tangible. 

So, here we are at the beginning of 2013 - How are we doing?  Well, the end of December really stunk for our family . . . miscarriage, respiratory flu, transmission going out in our vehicle, work stress.  It was a lot to handle all at once.  So, I was relieved to say good bye to 2012.  Our hearts still hurt for the loss of our baby, but I feel like the new year brought a clean slate and am trying to look forward to all the wonderful things this year will bring.  God has a plan and it's far better than anything I can imagine.  I HAVE to hold onto this.  Again, I know this strength and peace is coming from the multitude of prayers being offered up for us. 

Two of the scripture reading from Mass the Sunday after finding out we lost our baby . . . I almost lost it when they were read, but it's not a coincidence to me that they both talk about "rejoicing" and "being glad."  Even in our sorrow, we rejoice. 

"Shout for joy, O daughter Zion!
Sing joyfully, O Israel!
Be glad and exult with all your heart,
O daughter Jerusalem!
The LORD has removed the judgment against you
he has turned away your enemies;
the King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst,
you have no further misfortune to fear.
On that day, it shall be said to Jerusalem:
Fear not, O Zion, be not discouraged!
The LORD, your God, is in your midst,
a mighty savior;
he will rejoice over you with gladness,
and renew you in his love,
he will sing joyfully because of you,
as one sings at festivals."
-Zep 3:14-18

"Brothers and sisters:
Rejoice in the Lord always.
I shall say it again: rejoice!
Your kindness should be known to all.
The Lord is near.
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
make your requests known to God.
Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
-Phil 4:4-7