October 25th

Monday, October 25th changed our life forever. After having Miss Sophie Mae for the weekend, I took the day off to recover. (Just kidding, Veronica!) I decided to take a pregnancy test, even though I “knew” it didn’t happen this month. After 11 months of negatives, I wasn’t expecting any great news. But, what the heck, why not waste one more test? So, I got out the last Dollar Tree pregnancy test in the bathroom cabinet and . . . within a minute a second line appeared! I didn’t even have to hold up to the light or turn in 10 different directions to see that line! LOL. I was in shock! Complete shock!

I knew Brook had to be in court that morning, but I called him anyway and asked him to come home. I didn’t tell him why and he was pretty worried when he got there. I showed him the test and asked if he could see a second line. He was in shock, too . . . for the first time in the 3 years I’ve known him, he was speechless! Ha! We just stared at each, both of us not believing I was pregnant. Later that day, I went to Walgreens to pick up a couple more tests . . . just to be sure, of course! Both came back positive – each one stronger than the last. I was 4 weeks pregnant at that point.

I would say I was in shock for the 1st week. I really had no emotions and was living in a fog-like status. Could this really be happening? We told our parents and siblings right away. They were so, so excited for us; especially, with knowing the struggle we had gone through to get to this point. Over the next few weeks, we told aunts and uncles, grandparents and close friends. Each of their reactions, with the genuine joy in their voices, is forever etched in my mind. My 87 year-old grandma, who constantly told us she was praying for us every time we saw her for the last year, said, “Now, I have something to live for. I have to see that little baby.” There are no words for that reaction and I pray she will be able to meet our child.

The nausea set in about week 6. It slowly got worse and I am not a good sick person. Not. At. All. It’s all I can do to make it through work every day. Plus, I don’t sleep well on nights I have to go to work – ugh, the mind is a powerful thing! So, intense nausea + lack of sleep = very bad combination. Once I get home (from work), I am pretty useless. Luckily, I have the most amazing husband who has pretty much taken control of everything around the house. He cooks (or gets take-out), cleans and pretty much everything else.

I am repulsed by most food, except grapes, bananas, oranges and peanut butter toast w/ hot cocoa. I do force myself to eat other things, though. The great irony in all of this is that eating makes me feel better. All I have to say about food is – YUCK!

We decided not to go one the cruise we booked for the week after Thanksgiving. I was feeling so crappy that I didn’t feel like going anywhere, especially on a boat with tons of food. So, we stayed home, with the intention of going somewhere in spring. Thankfully, Brook was incredibly understanding about cancelling the trip.

At 10 weeks, the nausea began to slowly subside – I am *mostly* ok as long as I don’t get too hungry. (I am so tired of eating!) We also got to hear the heartbeat at our 2nd appt (December 8th, which is also the feast of the Immaculate Conception). It was super-strong at 180 bpm. (I hope this doesn’t mean the baby is going to be high strung like its mother!) Miraculous. That is the only way to describe hearing my child’s heartbeat.

And so, here we are at “magic” 12 week mark. I remember when I first got pregnant, thinking 12 weeks would never get here. I lived in weeks and time crawled by. But here we are. Being a mom is something I have dreamt about for years and it is amazing to think I have become one. We continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy and can’t wait to meet our 4th of July baby!

A Change of Perspective

I have to admit I was feeling quite sorry for myself yesterday. Here’s why: Our company does quite an extensive Un!ted W@y drive. In Jackson, it was Un!ted W@y mania for 3 weeks! I was involved with the campaign and loved it! So, it was only natural that I was asked to be the United Way coordinator for the Plant . . . that means over 350 employees to try to get involved. It was a daunting task, but I was up for the challenge. First event on the agenda: a friendly chili cook-off. We had 20 cooks and hoped for a good turn-out. Well, almost 100 people showed up and we raised over $500 to get our campaign going! I was happy! And to top it off, dozens of people thanked me and one person even said, “This type of event makes people happy.” It was a success and life was good.

Fast forward to the next morning, 1 person was upset about something very trivial and was making his displeasure known by saying negative things about the event. Throughout the day, bits of “info” trickled in to me. And all I could think was, ‘Really? You’re a grown man!” It was so disappointing and all I could think about. Isn’t it funny how we hear 10 good things and 1 bad and all we can think about is the bad?

Someone at work suggested I pray about it, which I thought was a good idea; but I was too irritated to pray. Yeah, I was that upset. By the time I left work, I was ready to cry. So, fast forward to last night: It’s almost 10pm and I get a call from my sister. She thinks she has a concussion and I end up taking her to the ER. We are there until 3 in the morning. As I’m sitting next to her, I’m thinking ‘What in the world was I so upset about today?’ Seriously! I had a total change of perspective. God heard my prayer, even though I didn’t articulate it. He is good about things like that. :-) A CAT scan and Vicodin later, we find out my sis is going to be just fine. I guess there was a little healing for both of us last night . . .

A Tribute

A long overdue post . . . that was terribly hard to compose.

June 22, 2010: The saints rejoiced as one of their own was brought Home today.

I met Carol when I was on a temporary assignment for work on the west side of the state in 2006. We worked together and quickly found we had lots in common, even though there was a 20 year age gap between us. We went to the same church, had the same values and enjoyed the same wine. ;) We were just alike in the fact that we were both doers and liked things “our” way. Many of my struggles now were her struggles when she was my age. She understood me and accepted me for who I was. Such a rarity!

After I left my temporary assignment and returned to Jackson in 2007, we stayed in touch. I had a standing offer to stay at her house in Grand Haven anytime I was in town and took her up on that offer! I was delighted when I received a job transfer back to the plant in 2009. Not only did it mean I had a job on the west side of the state, but I would be working with Carol again. Little did I know, my time with her would be much too short.

Throughout the summer, she complained that something was wrong with her foot . . . she couldn’t pick it up all the way anymore. But Brook and I played golf with her and her husband in August and she played better than any of us! It’s hard to believe how fast things can change. Throughout the fall, she kept getting more and more tired and losing functionality of her body. Since one of her brothers had died of ALS, she asked me to pray that she had a brain tumor or MS. I couldn’t believe we were praying for such things, but it seemed better than the alternative.

We talked and cried a lot during those months . . . hoping and praying for a “livable” disease. After 29 years with the Company, she was just a few years away from retirement and was looking forward to travelling and playing lots of golf with her husband and enjoying her daughters and grandbabies. Unfortunately, that was not the plan for her. Right before Thanksgiving, she was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig ’s disease). It was devastating. Carol being Carol, she continued to work through the first of the year, b/c she wanted to tie up any loose ends and try to train me as best she could.

After she left, I stopped in periodically to visit. Of course, I wanted to see how she was doing, but I also needed someone to talk with. I would talk with her about my work frustrations . . . frustrations that only she could understand. Or trials I was going through of faith, which she too understood. And every time I left her house, I’d think ‘Why am I talking about my problems, when she is facing a terminal disease?!’ But she didn’t seem to mind and one morning, I came into work to find this e-mail from her (no capitals, b/c she was only able to type with one finger at this point):

“hang tough we always seem to cross paths with people who enjoy making other lives miserable as their own. just take the upper road and be strong.”

I still cry when I read it. That was the kind of person she was.

Near the end, she was only able to “talk” via a machine. She was on oxygen, a feeding tube and was totally dependent on others. How humbling. And for someone who was such a doer, it was so hard on her. God’s ways are so mysterious, but for the Christian we have to believe that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” It would be impossible to get through these hard times without such a belief.

And so, on June 22nd, 2010, she died, surrounded by her husband, children, sisters and parish priest. She had only been diagnosed 7 months earlier.

Death is not easy for those left behind. I still can’t believe she is gone and miss her terribly. I wish I could see her just one more time . . . to say good-bye, but would never wish that she was suffering again. I have to believe that her suffering catapulted her into the arms of God when she died. She went through it all with such grace and dignity.

A contemporary Christian song says, “In Christ there are no goodbyes. So, “See you again, my beloved friend. You will always be in my heart.”

It's About Time!

Brook finally turned 28 . . . I hate being 3 years older than him for 3 months, b/c you know he never rubs it in! As I’ve said before (and can’t say it enough), I married up. For sure. This man not only puts up with me, but loves me when I am being totally ridiculous (I know, I know, it’s hard to believe I am ever like that. Haha!)

We have faced some really tough situations in the time we’ve been together and I am amazed at the way he keeps his cool and takes the high road more times than not.

He is always more than willing to help out around the house, which I very much appreciate. From peeling potatoes to taking the trash out, he definitely does his fair share.

I have enjoyed watching his faith evolve since he went through RCIA and became Catholic. I love that we are able to share the same faith and pray and worship together.

He is a man of integrity and values. He allows those values be his compass and I am so proud to be his wife. I couldn’t imagine my life without him!

We celebrated with both of our families before his birthday and just went out for a nice dinner the day of. Our birthday gift to each other is a cruise to the Bahamas in December. I can’t wait!

They love him so!

Tigers

The same weekend we had Connor, we also went to a Tiger’s game with Veronica and Brandon and Sophie. This was Sophie’s first game and she had a blast people-watching. And I had a blast eating nachos and a corndog. Hehehe. If my memory serves me right, I think they even won. Family, junk food and baseball - how could you not have fun??? ;)

A Little Visitor

We went to Concord back in August to attend my Godson’s memorial . . . can’t believe it’s been 8 years. I still miss you every day, Luke! After Mass, we all went out to dinner and Connor rode home with us. He kept saying, “Me go to Aunt Cysal’s house. No go home.” Ugh, how could I tell him no? I wanted to take him home with us, but didn’t know how he’d do, at 2 1/2, spending the night. Wes and Jaime seemed to think he’d do OK – so, it was off to Grand Haven! The kid is a character! He kept us entertained the whole ride up and “wanted to go fishing, go to the beach, get ice cream . . .” you name it. Unfortunately, we got home at 8:30pm and I had to have him back to his mom the next morning; so, there wasn’t much time for all those activities. We did fit in a stop at the Dairy Treat and a quick walk down the pier. (Lucky for us, he thought it was the beach, so we were ok!) He slept the whole night, too. I was up almost every hour checking on him, but at least one of us got a good night’s sleep! J The next morning, I realized I had no kid friendly breakfast foods in the house, so I got him a donut. (Aunt of the year award here!) When it was time to meet his mom, he grabbed my hand and said, “No go home.” I don’t think Jaime liked that too much, but it melted my heart! I love that kid!

"See my 'Piderman' sticker?"

So Long, Summer!

Ahh, Labor Day is almost here. That means we don't have to go to the beach at 9am to find a parking spot. It also means that things will get cheaper . . . restaurants will again offer Happy Hour specials and switch to a less expensive food menu. The accountant in me is very excited about this! :-)

I am also excited about our Labor Day weekend plans . . . tomorrow, we are heading down to South Bend for the first ND game of the year. Go Irish! I am interested to see how Coach Kelly will do in his first year as head coach. Sunday, Hannah is coming out and we are celebrating Brook's birthday with his family. And Monday . . . who knows? At first, I was leaning towards doing some much needs chores around the house . . . stuff like painting the shed, power-washing the house, etc (that we have let slip all summer). But it's now supposed to be beautiful; so, house work can wait! Maybe we'll take a trip to Pentwater or Saugatuck. I have never been to either (other than to pick up some stranded travellers in Saugatuck this summer - you know who you are! ;-) But that doesn't really count.) Or maybe we'll just go to the beach. These beautiful days won't last forever!